Between a Rock and a Hard Place
Which would you rather do -- fall into a cactus plant, or get bitten by a spider? How do you make a decision when both choices have serious drawbacks? How can you open yourself up to the presence of the Divine and feel Godly influence or spiritual direction when your choices simply leave you uncertain of the outcome either way you go, and either could be a disaster?
I can tell this story now that so much time as passed that the outcome of the choice I made is clear, but at the time, I was paralyzed by indecision and terrified by movement in either direction. I was not married and approaching 40 years old. I had gone through my 20's not caring about having a family. As I turned 30, I was surprised that I began changing. Over time, my desire to have a family became strong enough to pose a dilemma I could not shake. Would I become a single mother or remain forever childless? Rather than looking at the best outcome each choice could bring, I explored the worst outcome of each.
Having children could be financially devastating, end my social life, and I could be dealing with debilitating child problems all alone.
Not having a family could leave me forever bitter.
I held those worse outcomes in the Light. I surrounded them with God's loving and caring presence and noticed the changes in me. I became the instrument that measured each worst-case scenario. Having children could be a catastrophe for my lifestyle, but I felt I had the strength and resilience to deal with any of it. So, the spiritual message was positive.
When I considered becoming increasingly bitter if I remained childless, I felt my soul shrivel and die. The spiritual message was negative.
I had my decision. The Divine was my partner in what started as an impossible choice to make.
My two daughters are now grown with children of their own. I adored being a parent. I am in love with my children. My life has been graced with love, laughter, and passion because I listened to the Divine message when I embraced the spiritual path that separated the rock from the hard place.
