Sense Of Meaningful Purpose

For the last four months, I have accomplished a monumental to-do list. I set myself up for this. Not only did I move into a newly built house, but I also invested in a different newly built house for future rental income. These two ventures overlapped within the last four months along with the sale of a house to allow for both of these to happen. My days have been filled with complicated finances, buying stuff, arranging to have that stuff transported, registered, insured, and being occupied with thoughts about that stuff.

All the while, I have been drudging through the last four months with a diminished sense of joyful connection – with the Divine, with family, friends, relationships of all kinds, leaving me without a sense of meaningful purpose or mission. I am aware that my entire focus has been on material matters. I am drained, dry, flat, impatient, and separated from my soul. The Bible tells us that Jesus reportedly said to pay to Caesar what is Caesar’s, meaning that given we are in a material world we may have to pay attention to supporting that part of our existence. Yet I have really experienced the downside of that kind of focus when it takes over my every moment. Though this phase is now just about over, it has left me wondering how the emphasis on our material world fights our spiritual nature. I am going to be reflecting on this as I seek to regain balance and connection. I know I don’t want to feel this way going forward, and hope that my newly acquired mindfulness will give me a boost to more joyous fulfillment.